18 year old Australian Dudeist priest.
Film and Gaming devotee.

The Lusty Argonian Maid

  • Volume 1
  • Act IV, Scene III, continued
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.
  • Crantius Colto: Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
  • Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
  • Crantius Colto: Fear not. You are safe here with me.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!
  • Crantius Colto: Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here. Polish my spear.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: But it is huge! It could take me all night!
  • Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
  • END OF ACT IV, SCENE III
  • -
  • Volume 2
  • Act VII, Scene II, Continued
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: My goodness, that’s quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?
  • Crantius Colto: This loaf isn’t ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?
  • Crantius Colto: Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?
  • Crantius Colto: Of course.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.
  • Crantius Colto: Don’t fret, my delicate flower. I’ll satisfy the mistress’ cravings later.
  • Lifts-Her-Tail: Very well, but I’m afraid my oven isn’t hot enough. It could take hours!
  • Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
  • End of Act VII, Scene II
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