Skyrim HoardersThe A&E reality series visits Tamriel and discovers the only thing more dangerous than dragons, is yourself.
I’M IN THIRD PERSON MODE
(Source: College Humor)
Finished this sucker.
Fucking violas are hard to draw man.
(Source: insanelygaming)
(Source: iraffiruse)
CONTENTS OF RIFTEN SLUTS BEDROOM
1 x The Lusty Argonian Maid volume 1
1 x The Lusty Argonian Maid volume 2
4 x Stamina potions
2 x sets of leather straps
1 x set of bed-mounted shackles
and
1 x makeshift Horker Tusk dildo
The Lusty Argonian Maid
- Volume 1
- Act IV, Scene III, continued
- Lifts-Her-Tail: Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.
- Crantius Colto: Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?
- Lifts-Her-Tail: I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
- Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!
- Crantius Colto: Fear not. You are safe here with me.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!
- Crantius Colto: Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here. Polish my spear.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: But it is huge! It could take me all night!
- Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
- END OF ACT IV, SCENE III
- -
- Volume 2
- Act VII, Scene II, Continued
- Lifts-Her-Tail: My goodness, that’s quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?
- Crantius Colto: This loaf isn’t ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?
- Crantius Colto: Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?
- Crantius Colto: Of course.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.
- Crantius Colto: Don’t fret, my delicate flower. I’ll satisfy the mistress’ cravings later.
- Lifts-Her-Tail: Very well, but I’m afraid my oven isn’t hot enough. It could take hours!
- Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
- End of Act VII, Scene II
Pass go, and take an arrow to the knee.
(Source: justinrampage)
Elderflower Scrolls: Skyyrum (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Cocktail)
Created by James Dance of LoadingIngredients:
Skyy vanilla vodka
Sparkling elderflower presse
Spiced rum (Sailor Jerry)
Orange peelDirections: “We’ve based this whole drink entirely around a series of highly amusing Skyrim puns – but luckily, it’s also delicious. First, create a sugared rim by dipping your high ball glass into the vanilla vodka, and then into a plate of sugar. Now put ice into the glass and pour in 175ml of the presse down the side (the inside, of course). Add a measure of spiced rum on top of that, and garnish with an orange peel dragon’s tongue.”
I used to make cocktails, but then…
Loading, the gaming cafe and bar in Falmouth, England, has created six new brilliant gaming drinks that were recently published in an article on The Guardian. Each drink is themed after a hit game of 2011. It should be noted that this Skyrim drink is also supported by Bethesda! To see the others, visit the article previously linked. If you’re around the Falmouth area, don’t forget to stop by Loading for a drink and some good times.
Who is this “Vagina” you speak of?
(Source: College Humor)
(Source: iraffiruse)
(Source: meme4u)
(Source: iraffiruse)
